Super Mario Taxi: A Chaotic Cab Service

In the vibrant, often nonsensical world of SMG4, where the laws of physics are mere suggestions and logic takes a permanent holiday, one particular adventure stands out for its sheer, unadulterated chaos: the infamous “Super Mario Taxi” episode. Uploaded on November 9, 2019, this video plunges viewers into a bizarre urban landscape where Mario, in his infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), decides to embark on a new career path – that of a taxi driver. What follows is a series of increasingly absurd and hilarious encounters, showcasing Mario’s unique, often destructive, approach to customer service. This isn't your average black cab ride; it's a journey into the heart of SMG4's signature comedic mayhem, promising laughs, gasps, and perhaps a moment or two of genuine disbelief.

The Genesis of a Go-Kart Guru

Our story begins with Mario experiencing the convenience of a taxi service firsthand, albeit under rather unconventional circumstances. He's a passenger in Jeeves' taxi, bound for the culinary delights of La Porchetta. However, Mario, ever the free spirit, seems to have a unique interpretation of financial transactions. Upon arrival, demonstrating a complete misunderstanding of what a taxi service entails, Mario decides to pay Jeeves with a stack of fake money. His swift escape, before Jeeves could unleash his inevitable wrath, was a masterclass in opportunistic evasion. Yet, despite the dodgy payment, or perhaps because of it, Mario found himself surprisingly intrigued by the experience. A new calling beckoned, a path paved with unsuspecting passengers and questionable driving skills: he would become a taxi driver himself.

Toadsworth's Unwilling Ride-Along

With his new career choice firmly cemented in his mind, Mario needed a vehicle. His eyes quickly landed on Toadsworth, who, in an unfortunate twist of fate, was loading laundry into the boot of his own taxi. Seizing the opportunity with the grace of a rampaging bull, Mario unceremoniously shoved Toadsworth into the boot, trapping him within. With his unsuspecting, and rather unwilling, first 'passenger' secured, Mario was now officially ready for business. The scene perfectly sets the tone for the remainder of the episode: a blend of opportunistic behaviour, disregard for others' well-being, and a hefty dose of pure, unfiltered Mario logic. Toadsworth, trapped and undoubtedly fuming, became the unwitting, silent witness to Mario's entire chaotic endeavour, a recurring gag that added another layer of hilarity to the unfolding events.

Luigi's Terrifying Trip to the Salon

Mario's first official customer, cruising the streets in his ill-gotten cab, was none other than his long-suffering brother, Luigi. Luigi, in need of a fresh cut, requested a ride to the hair salon located within the bustling Mushroom Mall. For any other taxi driver, this would be a straightforward fare. But Mario is no ordinary driver. He delivered Luigi to his destination, yes, but not in the conventional sense. Instead of merely dropping him off at the mall entrance, Mario, with his characteristic disregard for public safety and property, drove his taxi directly inside the mall. He navigated the vehicle right up to the salon's entrance, a feat that left Luigi absolutely terrified and ultimately, quite literally, unconscious. The sheer audacity of the act, coupled with Luigi's comical reaction, cemented Mario's reputation as a driver who delivers, come what may, even if it means traumatising his passengers. King K. Rool, mistaking the unconscious Luigi for a homeless person, even offered him some pity money, adding another layer of absurd humour to the aftermath.

A High-Octane Race to the Bank

Mario’s second customer was the unassuming Shroomy, who simply needed a ride to the bank. The journey began innocently enough, but at a red light, fate intervened in the form of Bowser, driving his own vehicle. A challenge was silently issued, and what followed was an impromptu, high-octane chase through the streets. During this chaotic race, Don Resetti’s stall was unfortunately run over – a recurring gag in the SMG4 universe. Mario, ever resourceful, picked up a banana, attempting to use it as a classic Mario Kart-style obstacle, but it failed to deter Bowser. Bowser, however, found his own convenient projectile: a Green Shell, courtesy of a Koopa Troopa passenger in his back seat. With pinpoint accuracy, Bowser launched the shell, striking Mario’s taxi and sending Shroomy flying out onto the road, conveniently landing right next to the bank. Mario’s vehicle, meanwhile, crashed spectacularly into a fire hydrant, leaving him stranded and fuming, screaming expletives at Bowser as the triumphant King of the Koopas drove off, laughing maniacally at his victory.

Yoshi's Great Escape: A Criminal Commute

No sooner had Shroomy recovered from his unexpected aerial dismount than the sounds of gunshots echoed in the distance. Yoshi, armed with a massive pile of money, burst onto the scene, declaring his refusal to return to jail. He barreled through Shroomy, knocking him down, before spotting Mario's now-damaged taxi. Without hesitation, Yoshi jumped in, ordering Mario to drive. Mario, ever compliant when money or excitement is involved, sped off. The police, initially in a car, were quickly dispatched by Yoshi’s retaliatory gunfire, forcing them to deploy a helicopter for the police pursuit. After a tense chase, the police ordered Mario to stop. Surprisingly, Mario obeyed, but not before the police fired into the boot, accidentally injuring Toadsworth, who was still trapped inside. Mario’s sudden braking flung Yoshi out onto the road, much to Yoshi's dismay, before he resumed his escape, only to be spectacularly blown up moments later. Mario, initially disappointed by the lack of payment, quickly noticed the enormous pile of ill-gotten gains Yoshi had left behind. Naturally, Mario appropriated the cash, adding to his questionable earnings.

Africa Bound: An Aquatic Adventure

Mario’s fourth customer, Bob Bobowski, presented a truly unique request: a ride to Africa. Mario, initially confused, quickly devised a plan that defied all conventional logic. He decided the most direct route was straight through the ocean via a beach. This reckless aquatic journey saw Mario narrowly avoid running over a host of familiar faces, including Master Chief, Fishy Boopkins, Professor E. Gadd, Sandy Cheeks, Tari, and Saiko Bichitaru, all while somehow disturbing Shrek, who apparently considers the ocean his swamp. As Mario inquired about Bob’s purpose for such an epic trip, Bob revealed he had a Tinder date, a revelation that surprisingly garnered Mario’s approval. Unbeknownst to them, a massive presence lurked behind them in the water. Mario’s taxi app, inexplicably functional underwater, revealed the ominous presence of a giant eel from Jolly Roger Bay. By the time Bob turned to witness the colossal creature, his only utterance was a panicked “Oh crap!” before he, Mario, and the taxi were swallowed whole. The app, floating on the surface, lost signal as they disappeared. In a bizarre twist of fate, the eel somehow reached Africa and unceremoniously spat them out. Bob, seemingly unfazed, thanked Mario, who then simply returned the way he came, leaving Bob to his improbable date and the audience bewildered by the sheer absurdity of it all.

The Inkopolis Loop and a Leg-acy

Mario’s fifth and final customer was Meggy Spletzer, who, complaining about her expensive phone’s rapidly draining battery, needed a ride home to Inkopolis. Mario agreed, and as they drove, singing along to a country road tune, Meggy noticed something peculiar: they had somehow passed the same building twenty times. Mario, also perplexed, soon discovered the reason – a meta-joke revealing SMG4’s decision to save on editing. The journey was temporarily halted when Mario decided to stop at McDonald’s for a meal, with Meggy joining him. However, upon their return, they were met by Big Smoke, who was in the process of towing away the taxi. The reason? It was illegally parked in a disabled parking lot. Meggy, attempting to defend Mario, hilariously claimed he had a disabled leg. Big Smoke, naturally unimpressed, left Mario in a state of panic. Just then, salvation, or rather, another opportunity for extreme measures, arrived in the form of Heavy Weapons Guy. Mario, in desperation, asked Heavy to shoot him in the leg. Heavy, initially hesitant, was eventually convinced when Mario divulged a disgusting secret: he never flushed the toilet. Disgusted, Heavy complied, shooting Mario’s leg clean off. The bizarre act worked, and Big Smoke was forced to release the car. However, the immediate repercussion of having a leg shot off was immense pain, leaving Mario screaming in agony, but victorious in his fight against the tow.

The Bitter End: Just Deserts for Mario

After a brief, comedic screen cut, Mario, despite his missing leg, was exclaiming his natural talent as a taxi driver and plotting to spend his earnings on spaghetti. His celebratory moment was abruptly interrupted by the vengeful reappearance of Toadsworth, who, having escaped the boot, began clinging to the front of the taxi. Horrified, Mario desperately tried to run him over, but this only resulted in Toadsworth ending up at the back of the vehicle. Mario then resorted to throwing random objects, including SMG4 himself, but nothing worked. Soon, Toadsworth managed to position himself right beside Mario, clearly intent on delivering a well-deserved beating. Mario, ever the opportunist, meekly asked if he could at least keep the money he had earned. Toadsworth’s response was a swift and brutal attack, culminating in Mario being unceremoniously thrown back onto the road at the video's starting location. Fortunately for Mario, Toadsworth, in a rare moment of mercy, allowed him to keep a portion of his earnings. However, the universe had one final piece of poetic justice in store. Just as Mario was counting his meagre spoils, a taxi ran him over, causing him to drop the money. The driver? None other than Jeeves, who proceeded to collect the remaining cash, taking it as payment for Mario’s original unpaid taxi ride. Jeeves’ parting words, a stern reminder that this should be a lesson for not paying upfront, rendered all of Mario’s chaotic efforts and suffering utterly fruitless, leaving him flat on the road, robbed of his gains, and presumably, still without a leg.

A Look at Mario's "Customer Service"

Frequently Asked Questions About Super Mario Taxi

When was the "Super Mario Taxi" video released?

The highly entertaining and chaotic "Super Mario Taxi" episode by SMG4 was originally uploaded on the YouTube platform on November 9, 2019. It quickly became a memorable entry in the series, showcasing Mario's unique interpretation of a public service.

Who were Mario's passengers in the episode?

Mario had a variety of unsuspecting passengers during his brief, tumultuous career as a taxi driver. His official paying (or attempting to pay) customers included Luigi, Shroomy, Bob Bobowski, and Meggy Spletzer. Additionally, he had an unplanned, criminal passenger in Yoshi, and an unwilling, kidnapped passenger in Toadsworth, who spent the entire episode trapped in the boot of the taxi.

What happened to Toadsworth during Mario's taxi adventures?

Toadsworth was Mario's very first 'passenger', albeit against his will. Mario forcibly pushed him into the boot of his newly acquired taxi at the very beginning of the episode and left him there for the entire duration of his escapades. He was accidentally injured by police fire during Yoshi's escape. At the end of the episode, Toadsworth finally escaped, exacting his revenge on Mario by attacking him and throwing him out of the taxi.

Did Mario actually get paid for his taxi services?

Despite his best efforts and the incredible chaos he caused, Mario's earnings were largely negated. He initially paid Jeeves with fake money, leading to a debt. While he did manage to acquire a large pile of money left behind by Yoshi, and Toadsworth allowed him to keep a small portion of his 'earnings' at the very end, Jeeves ultimately appeared and reclaimed all of Mario's remaining money to settle the original unpaid fare, making all of Mario's efforts fruitless.

Is this a real taxi service in the UK?

Absolutely not! The "Super Mario Taxi" is a creation from the animated comedy web series SMG4, known for its parody and absurd humour based on Nintendo characters. It is entirely fictional and should not be taken as a representation of real taxi services in the UK or anywhere else. Any attempt to replicate Mario's driving techniques would be highly dangerous and illegal!

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